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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26320441">a passing childhood remembrance</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheeseliquor/pseuds/Cheeseliquor'>Cheeseliquor</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Depression, Gen, Loneliness, M/M, Self Harm, hurt comfort</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 11:48:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>464</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26320441</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheeseliquor/pseuds/Cheeseliquor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>post office party, tenn brings up a topic gaku never thought he'd hear about again.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kujou Ten/Yaotome Gaku</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>a passing childhood remembrance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I saw, Gaku."</p><p>"Huh?"</p><p>Tenn doesn't say anything else. Gaku brushes the rest of the confetti and sparkles from the office party out of his hair and plops onto the couch.</p><p>"Ah. I get it."</p><p>Ryuu is tossed. He probably won't be coming out of his room for a glass of water any time soon. </p><p>But Gaku figures he'll tell Ryuu eventually; if he's going to tell Tenn, Ryuu has to know too.</p><p>Tenn, the only one still sober after the party, sits across from Gaku, his lynx-like eyes pinned on the other. The room is completely silent save for the ticking of the wall clock. Or perhaps it's the sound of Gaku's head, thudding through a whirlpool of alcohol?</p><p>"I was a kid when I started," he says, cracking his knuckles, as if to try and wake himself up. To make sure his words are as true to his past as he can keep it. "After my mother died, I didn't know what to do. Dad was always throwing himself into work, and people at school were intimidated by my family name. I was alone a lot. I didn't have anyone or anything to ease the darkness mounting in my heart."</p><p>"Can I see it again? I only had a glimpse."</p><p>"You're being," Gaku chuckles. "Surprisingly honest, tonight. For one who didn't have a drop of alcohol."</p><p>"I would appreciate it," Tenn continues.</p><p>"I know you would."</p><p>And so Gaku pulls his right leg up, props it on his left, and rolls up the sleeve of his shorts. On the inside of his thigh is a series of parallel scars, pink and raised. Some of them had evidently been very deep.</p><p>Tenn stands. He closes the distance between them and sits next to Gaku, his hands stiff on either side of him. Gaku sees how his knuckles are ash white. </p><p>"Can I..."</p><p>Gaku laughs. His voice is shrill in the silence. "It's not like they hurt anymore. You can do whatever you want, kid."</p><p>Tenn runs a hand over them. Gaku's thighs are sensitive, and he feels his nerves twinge at the sensation of Tenn's cold fingers on his skin. </p><p>"Stupid," Tenn mutters.</p><p>"Ah?"</p><p>Looking Gaku straight in the eyes, Tenn spits, "Doing something like this to yourself, you're stupid."</p><p>The hatred on his face is amusing. Rarely is Tenn provoked by anything, and there he is, getting worked up over things Gaku did to himself when he was young. </p><p>"It's fine now. I've grown up. In place of that loneliness, I've got you, Ryuu and Trigger. Isn't that a sweet thing to say?"</p><p>"Sweet words are often falsities."</p><p>"Mmm. But as dreamy and fantastical as they are, there's always some truth to them."</p><p>Gaku's wan smile reaches Tenn. Who, surprisingly, smiles back.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>came up w idea of self harming gaku while munching on a bowl of cauliflowers. may be part of a series. hope you enjoyed this small read.</p><p>Oh and my twt is liquorric_e, looking for idolish mutuals cuz I'm pretty new here</p></blockquote></div></div>
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